In my personal experience (literally, me personally), guys are not always the amazing gift givers our more emotionally sensitive and thoughtful female counterparts are.  But, when it comes to your groomsmen, you have to step up your game!  These guys not only have your back and walk grandma to her seat on your day, but it’s quite likely they’ve given significant time and money to help you celebrate your marriage.  The perfect gift can not only say thanks from the bottom of your heart, but can also serve as a great bribe to make absolutely sure those bachelor party phone pics are erased…

Photo credit: David Leggett (Flickr)

We found one guy who gave his groomsmen each one square inch of land.  Interesting…but not what we’re looking for.  So, we did the best thing we know to do – we took it to the experts, our LunchDate crew.  We have a special guest this week too!  There is no better site for guys getting married than The Man Registry, and we welcome Chris Easter, co-founder of The Man Registry, to LunchDate this week.

What is the best groomsman gift you’ve seen lately?

STEAKS!! Whether your groomsmen is a grill guy or just has great appreciation for great steaks.  Companies like MyChicagoSteak.com and OmahaSteaks.com offer delivery and gift wrapping!
-Lauren Le Pine Housley, Ryan Alexander Events, Inc. (Chicago, IL)

We recently had a groom that custom designed Converse Chuck Taylor’s for each of his groomsmen.   These shoes are recognized around the world as a symbol of originality and self-expression and this very creative groom designed each one different for each of his friends’ unique personality.  Design your own pair at www.converse.com.
-Susan Metropoulos, The Left Bank Jewelry & Bridal Finery (Chicago, IL)

Photo Credit: Ethically Engineered

I love the shaving kit from Ethically Engineered!  The kit comes with organic/toxic free shaving cream, a neat razor, and a vegan shaving brush.  The whole kit comes in a re-purposed box made out of the beams from old Chicago buildings.
-Carlene Smith, Naturally Yours Events (Chicago, IL)

Monogrammed BBQ tools  - the perfect gift.  What guy doesn’t like the whole bbq thing?  Plus it shows that little extra effort you put into the gift with the monogram.
-Cindy Shanholtz, Effortless Events (Chicago, IL)

Before you give a gift, consider the recipient.  Each groomsmen doesn’t have to receive the same exact gift.  If you do decide to give the same gift and it’s a watch, flask or bar-b-que set don’t put your wedding date on the item, instead monogram it with the groomsmen’s initials.  One of the best gifts I’ve seen was from a huge Chicago Bears fan: he gave his groomsmen jerseys with their names printed on the back, so whenever they get together to watch a game they all have proper attire.
-Robyn Bruns, Red Letter Event Planning (Glenview, IL)

We’ve come across a plethora of creative groomsmen gift ideas this year. By far, our favorite is the Bluegrass Bourbon Barrel.  This 2 liter home bourbon aging kit allows you to creative a custom blend of bourbon (or rum/wine) from the comfort of your own home.  The front of the barrel can be engraved for an added touch of personalization.
-Chris Easter, The Man Registry (Everywhere!)

You should give a gift that the recipient would like to receive, NOT a gift that you are making them wear or use in your wedding.  I LOVE The Man Registry!  They have traditional groomsmen gift items – cuff links, money clasp or flask – but what I really love is all the quirky items that a guy would really want (if he could be honest!).  How about a remote control cooler or Bark4Beer (bottle opener dog collar) or an all-in-one egg muffin maker?  Now we are talkin’ REAL AWESOME groomsmen gifts!!!
-Claudia Antony Zompa, AS YOU WISH EVENTS (Chicago, IL)

We’ve been seeing a lot of footwear, actually.  ”Crazy Socks” in a variety of colors & patterns and Converse sneakers both seem to be big right now.  While these are fun, and they are something the groom (or bride) often wants the guys to wear for the wedding day, they’re not as personal as we think a groomsmen gift should be.  Throw out the playbook.  You do not need to get every guy the same thing. Tap into your friends’ interests and get them something they would really like, rather than something you like.  The Man Registry and Groomsmen Gift have great products online for every type of guy.
-Beth Bernstein, SQN Events (Chicago, IL)

Engraved flasks are the most overdone men’s gift, in my humble opinion.  The most original groomsmen gift I’ve seen recently was actually given by the bride!  She gave her fiancee’s attendants comfortable shoes (Vans) to wear at the reception.  They were styled with a skull and cross bones to match the rock-n-roll theme of the reception.  You can customize your own at Vans.com.
-Tatiana Abramova, theBrideScoop.com (Chicago, IL)

We’ve been doing customized labels on a nice bottle of booze for each groomsman.  Pair that with a classic flask or set of tumblers and you’ve got a great gift and keepsake.  Just don’t give it to them right before the ceremony or they might not make it down the aisle!
-Kim Oliff, Always RSVP Event Design and Coordination (SF Bay Area and Beyond)

My favorite gifts for the groomsmen are always those that are personal, thoughtful and reflect the groom’s style and hobbies.  Recently for a Napa wedding, we custom designed cases of small batch wines for each groomsmen, and paired each bottle with a dinner party menu handwritten onto menu cards.
-Debi Lilly, A Perfect Event (Chicago, IL)

Custom suits for the groom and his men.  Seems to be a growing trend amongst my clients and I couldn’t be happier!  Nothing like an impeccably dressed wedding party!
-Isabella Sikaffy, Florabella (Menlo Park, CA)

Grooms have decided that since their brides are spending so much money and time and energy on their attire, they should also make a commitment to looking awesome for the day!  Grooms are purchasing their tuxedos instead of renting them.  We also like white bow tie to distinguish them from their groomsmen.  And a different boutonnière!
-Claudia Antony Zompa, AS YOU WISH EVENTS (Chicago, IL)

1. Charcoal is the new black.
2. Custom ties!  Use (if appropriate) extra fabric from the brides’ dress to make a coordinating tie for your tux.
3. Post ceremony wardrobe change.  So many brides are changing out of their formal dress into something more fun and festive, guys should follow suit (pun intended), lose the tux later in the night and change into something that reflects your personality.  Loosen up and have fun!!
-Kim Oliff, Always RSVP Event Design and Coordination (SF Bay Area and Beyond)

I personally always recommend that grooms go classic and buy a really great suit and have it tailored to fit them perfectly. Unlike a wedding dress, which tends to be a single-wear garment, a good suit can last a man a decade or more, making it a smart investment.
-Elizabeth Clayton, Lowe House Events (Northern CA)

The trend I love in men’s wedding fashion is when the groom uses out of the box accessorizing.  Ties don’t have to be colorless, patternless and boring.  Instead the groom can express himself with a tie that is fashion forward and looks great in pictures!  Boutonniere’s don’t have to be flowers, they can be as beautiful and unique as the bride’s bouquet. I love textural elements like branches, leaves, berries and even ribbon to create a one of a kind design for the groom.
-Robyn Bruns, Red Letter Event Planning (Glenview, IL)

The last trendy wave was the cute vintage-esque custom ties and socks.  The classic clean look is making a come back, but still with the custom look.  Ties like these are memorable pieces that can be used again without looking like an old “trend”.
-Hazel Bourget, Blu Bungalow (San Francisco, CA)
 

Photo: Carasco Photo

We love this question!  Especially since we hosted our first event for grooms last night!  We had representation from two great and stylish shops for men, Haberdash and Nicholas Joseph Custom Suits.  Haberdash is the perfect place for guys to go to get all of the latest fashion in menswear to impress the in-laws and guests at showers and the rehearsal dinner.  And for looking dapper on your wedding day, grooms must check out Nicholas Joseph.  A custom suit is a smart investment as you can wear it for years to other special events — you can switch up the look with different shirts and ties and still keep your wedding attire special.  In general grooms, we see are seeing many more suits than tuxes for weddings these days.  Even for black-tie events. Guys feel more like themselves in a sharp suit versus a tux, which can still remind them of their junior prom (sometimes not always a good memory).
-Beth Bernstein, SQN Events (Chicago, IL)

 
What do you think?  Have some thoughts on how dudes can stay dapper?  Enter it in the comments.

What do you think?  Have an opinion on Halloween weddings?  Enter it in the comments.

So.

Photo: Flickr (Soukup)

Your date is set.  Your venue is reserved.  Your food is agreed upon.  Your band is booked.  Your planner is on retainer (hopefully one you found from reading our LunchDate blog posts ).  Your dress is off for alterations.  You’re feelin’ pretty good!

Most wedding preparation seems to go like this:

1. Get engaged.
2. Race around crazy for the next two months, making all the big decisions for your wedding.
3. Sit around for a couple months with not a ton to do.
4. Race around crazy for the last month finalizing tons of little things and wondering why you didn’t get to them when you were sitting around.
5. Get married!

This could easily be a blog post that advises you to not sit around for those middle months, to budget your time, keep making progress each month, set specific goals for each week, etc.  Our LunchDate planners actually have some great tips on that.  But that’s not what this blog post is about.

We’re going to be the devil on your shoulder that says “eh, it’ll work out fine (especially with a planner on the job), so chill out and enjoy the down time of those middle months between the initial rush and the late rush”.  In other words – take a mini-vacation!

Now, we’re not so irresponsible to suggest you spend money on a full-on vacay when you have a wedding and hopefully honeymoon on the horizon.  But…we’re ARE free-spirited and fun-loving enough to suggest that a good weekend getaway might do you wonders and settle the idle jitters some fidgety wedding couples get in those middle months with little to do.

So, the question we posed to the LunchDate crew was:

Finish this sentence: ”The best weekend getaway from my city is…”

Lake Geneva and its sister city Fontana, especially right before or at the end of high season.  Gordy’s Boathouse is fantastic fun, the mail boat tour which gives you the history of the mansions built along the lake is great.  Everything is walkable.  The most magnificent place to stay is Baker House – you are transported back in time to a gilded age summer cottage.  I try to stay in private inns when I travel and this one is just beautiful.
-Robyn Bruns, Red Letter Event Planning (Glenview, IL)

Sausalito, California – in the north bay of San Francisco, is a quaint artist’s town that offers great views, relaxing cafes and a waterfront walking path.  If you love to visit the city, but then retreat to a lover’s paradise to snuggle the night away in front of a fireplace…nowhere compares to Sausalito, CA.  Don’t forget to tour the house boats on the docks along the bay.
-Marcia Hemphill, An Urban Affair (Chicago, IL)

The fabulous Rosewood Hotel!  Among being a business owner, mom to two amazing boys and wife to my wonderful husband, there is not much opportunity to sneak out of town easily.  My favorite escape is heading over to the Rosewood where I feel close enough to home yet much farther away than the 15 minutes it is from my house.  Cocktails and bar snacks are a favorite and I think I would be at the pool all day every day if I could!
-Isabella Sikaffy, Florabella (Menlo Park, CA)

Photo: TraverseCity.com

The best weekend getaway from my city is a ride up to Traverse City, Michigan.  Take several tours of different breweries/wineries and have a farm-to-table dinner at one of them overlooking the lake.  Enjoy some of the best beaches and sand dunes of the Great Lakes or, be adventurous, and scuba dive to find over 130 shipwrecks in Lake Michigan.
-Carlene Smith, Naturally Yours Events (Chicago, IL)

The best weekend getaway from Chicago, for me, is New York City.  I am the ultimate urbanite, I thrive in the urban environment.  Dashing off to New York and romping about, exploring hidden restaurants and places locals favor is one of my favorite things.  I am not big on tourist places, I like exploring ethnic neighborhoods and spots that fly under the radar.  But taking in an occasional Broadway show or a shooing spree on Fifth is always fun as well.
-Tatiana Abramova, theBrideScoop.com (Chicago, IL)

Galena, which is located 2.5 hours northwest of Chicago.  Love it there.  There is a winery, small town with antique shops, plenty of golf and horseback riding. Every time I can get out of town I go there.
-Alexandra Jusino, Exquisite Designs (Chicago, IL)

Stinson Beach in Marin County.  It’s less than an hour from San Francisco, but you drive over Mt Tamalpais and all of the sudden you’re in a tiny beach town that runs on it’s own pace.  Rent a house for the weekend, pick up some oysters from one of the farms up the coast and throw them on the barbeque, and sit on the sand with a good book and the sunshine – you’ll feel a million miles away from everything.
-Elizabeth Clayton, Lowe House Events (Northern CA)

Miami in February – direct flights, great hotels, amazing beaches – AND a weekend in the sun can really help you survive the cold Chicago winters!!
-Kirstin Martin, Smitten Boutique (Chicago, IL)

Seeing as though I live an hour away from our city, a “staycation” in downtown Chicago is always welcome!  Excellent hotels, incredible restaurants and a vibrant city filled with pleasant people and a variety of culture.
-Claire Abrams, “Day of” Coordinator (Chicago, IL)

Kohler, Wisconsin!  It is a lovely four hour (or so) drive up from Chicago and the town is gorgeous!!!  Cute restaurants and bars.  The spa is to die for!  They have accomodations for adults only with afternoon tea and happy hours.  And they also have locations for families.  Best of all ~ get pampered, drink bubbly and then go check out the Kohler store… and see all the awesome new gadgets Kohler is creating for bathrooms and kitchens!
-Claudia Antony Zompa, AS YOU WISH EVENTS (Chicago, IL)

Half Moon Bay, Ritz Carlton!  It’s a nice staycation area where you can get away from it all near the Pacific.  Rolling green hills from the exclusive golf course, watching the sunsets in adirondack chairs snuggled under a blanket while roasting marshmallows for s’mores, wine flights and pairings at their wine bar, and enjoying the luxe spa is the perfect relaxing weekend getaway.
-Hazel Bourget, Blu Bungalow (San Francisco, CA)

Lake Geneva, Wisconsin!  Great shopping, cheap bars, fabulous food, and a lifetime of traditions and memories!
-Monica Sehgal Sharma, Allure Event and Meeting Productions (Chicago & Atlanta)

I love Las Vegas and the best getaway for me is to go there for a weekend.  Vegas has everything you need in one city.  The best stores, great restaurants, spas, entertainment, warm weather (the pool) and of course squeeze in “a little” gambling.  There has never been a time that I’ve been to Las Vegas and said I was bored, you will always find something new to do.

-Candace Polk, Glitz Event Design (Chicago, IL)

From San Jose, CA my favorite weekend getaway is through the Santa Cruz mountains and just over the hill to Santa Cruz. It’s not a long drive and lands you in a great beach city with the famous Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, the wild sea lions under the municipal wharf, cute old fashioned movie theaters lots of great food and my fav The Penny Ice Creamery that makes delicious artisan flavors. You’re also just down the highway from Capitola, Monterey and Carmel.
-Stacie Tamaki, The Flirty Guide (San Jose, CA)

One of my favorite weekend getaways is down to Costanoa, less than an hour south of San Francisco on the California coast. This “eco resort” is the perfect place for your first-time camping experience and offers any degree of “roughing it” that you desire.  Stay in their beautiful lodge, get cozy in a cabin, or for the adventurous – try their tent bungalows (complete with electric blankets!).  Hike to the beach, roast marshmallows and get back to nature.  If it gets too rustic for you – beeline to their relaxing spa, get pampered and you can still say you went “camping”!!
-Kim Oliff, Always RSVP Event Design and Coordination (SF Bay Area and Beyond)

The classic pashmina for the cooler fall weddings are a huge favorite as a clothing accessory for brides, bridal party, and guests.  Polishing off your wedding design with women adorned with colors of your wedding add that additional pop throughout the party while providing something light and compact for ladies to wear and carry.
-Hazel Bourget, Blu Bungalow (San Francisco, CA)

Photo Credit: Etsy.com

I love a twist to the typical bridal/bridesmaid’s accessories and the scarves from BlueEnvyArt are perfect to wrap in during the fall months.  The designer, Gishino, is a local Chicago artist and each scarf is handmade.  Even after the wedding these scarves will work with anything casual or dressy.
-Carlene, Naturally Yours Events (Chicago, IL)

Pashima wraps for the ladies.  Hats for the gents.  Both are great for the wedding and for years to come!
-Claudia Antony Zompa, AS YOU WISH EVENTS (Chicago, IL)

Photo Credit: Etsy.com

Fall is our absolute favorite season — mainly because the fashion options are endless!  Boots, scarves, hats, sweaters…. We could go on and on.  But if we are to choose just one for your wedding day, we’d have to go with hand-stitched fingerless mittens, like those found on Esty.  Offered in a variety of colors (you can also customize your order to match your color palette), this fashion-forward and functional accessory will keep your hands toasty during outdoor photos or even cocktails on the terrace, while leaving your fingers free.  You know, for updating your Facebook status to “Married.”
-Beth Bernstein, SQN Events (Chicago, IL)

Add hot apple cider to the coffee/tea station for a delicious treat!
-Claire Abrams, “Day of” Coordinator (Chicago, IL)

My favorite Fall wedding clothing accessory is a shawl or wrap.  A shawl can be worn by the bride, wedding party or attendees.  There are different types of shawls and if a bride decides that she wants to wear one, she can wear a silk, cashmere or even a white fur shawl.  These can be found at any clothing store and/or online.
-Candace Polk, Glitz Event Design (Chicago, IL)

Pearls!  They should be staples of any girl’s wardrobe.  There a wide variety to choose from now and they can class up an outfit anytime.  Fall colors are a perfect base to highlight this timeless piece for any occasion.  Here is where we get our pearls.
-Monica Sehgal Sharma, Allure Event and Meeting Productions (Chicago & Atlanta)

Fascinators!  They have become popular since the royal wedding.  The Left Bank sells many options.
-Misse Daniel, Honey Bee Weddings (Chicago, IL)

What do you think?  Have a a Fall wedding fashion tip?  Enter it in the comments.

Remember that your wedding is not about your napkins matching your bridesmaid’s shoes, your centerpieces being perfectly hand-crafted works of art, or the lined envelopes for your six-piece invitation suite.  Your wedding is about choosing to stand in front of your community while you make a commitment to the person you love.  Everything else is just (pretty, but for the most part unnecessary) gravy.
-Elizabeth Clayton, Lowe House Events (Northern CA)

For the planning process, keep a to-do list with you of items you can do each day/week and cross them off when you’ve completed them.  I am a huge list maker and keeping the details organized is how you can stay on top and not feel overwhelmed all at once.  For the day-of, you should only focus on you and your groom saying “I-do”, not if the cake was delivered or who will put all the favors on the table – delegate this to someone else.
-Carlene, Naturally Yours Events (Chicago, IL)

Planning a wedding can be stressful with all the decisions and opinions.  The best advice I tell my clients is that they are marrying their best friend – the one they laugh with and cry with – and there is nothing better then that.  As long as they keep that in the forefront of their mind things go smoother.
-Lauren LePine, Ryan Alexander Events,Inc. (Chicago, IL)

I know this is going to sound like I am trying to sell my services to your readers, but I honestly and truly believe that having a wedding planner is the best way to keep stress-free.  Your planner will not only help guide you along the way (you’re only doing this once, while she or he does this dozens of times a year), but will handle every detail leading up to the wedding and on your wedding day.  You are the guest of honor, not the manager-on-duty.  Do you really want to be dealing with making sure your dad is in the room when it’s time for his toast? (You would not believe how many FOB’s I have had to track down in the men’s room!) Of course not.  You want to be blissfully unaware of all of the behind-the-scenes work and just have the time of your life.  That’s what a planner can and will do for you. Stress-free guaranteed.
-Beth Bernstein, SQN Events (Chicago, IL)

Photo Credit: Carasco Photo

I think the best advice I can offer is hire your wedding planner to run things on the day of your wedding.  This is the person who is intimately familiar with the details of your wedding, the vendors, your family, who has been through a rehearsal with all of you  and can anticipate your needs as well as the things that can go wrong.  Give your cell phone to a family member to answer as necessary, let the wedding planner run the show, have a glass of champagne with your wedding party, breathe deep and enjoy the ride!
-Tatiana Abramova, theBrideScoop.com (Chicago, IL)

I know it may be cliche coming from a planner – but hire a planner or coordinator to assist you with your wedding!  They are there to shield you from any mishaps that may go on behind the scenes and ensure that the flow of the day continues on seamlessly.  If anything at all, choose wisely for your Maid of Honor, so that they may step into that role should your budget not provide for a planner.
-Kate Miller, Kate Miller Events (Northern CA)

Hire a professional planner!  Seriously, this advice is not self serving.  You will plan just one wedding (hopefully), a professional planner has planned many.  Think of a planner as an an expert guide  though the labyrinth of  wedding planning.  Planners can assist with getting you started, planning everything from start to finish or coordinating those last few months with wedding day management.  The result is a stress-free, organized couple.  Wedding planning should be fun, not all-consuming.  A planner provides you the opportunity to actually ENJOY wedding planning and the wedding day itself.
-Robyn Bruns, Red Letter Event Planning (Glenview, IL)

Hire a good planner – someone you trust & connect with!!!
-Kirstin Martin, Smitten Boutique (Chicago, IL)

Ultimately your wedding day is about your marriage, not perfection, so celebrate that you were lucky enough to find the person who loves you most in the world and focus on having fun both planning your wedding and on your big day!  The details will only get you down if you let them.  So don’t let them!  Also keep in mind that quite often the things that go wrong are very likely the things you’ll laugh about most if not by the time you get back from your honeymoon then hopefully by your first anniversary
-Stacie Tamaki, The Flirty Guide (San Jose, CA)

Hire a wedding coordinator!  Couples are investing thousands of dollars for a memorable wedding – so why not reduce the stress of the planning by hiring someone to manage your event.  Otherwise, if your budget really does not allow for a coordinator, create a super detailed timeline that includes the start and end of EVERYTHING (i.e. cake delivery, floral delivery, DJ set up, ceremony time, reception time, speeches, etc.) – that way  you can assign responsibilities to people and really get an idea of the behind the scenes logistics.
-Hazel Bourget, Blu Bungalow (San Francisco, CA)

Hire a PLANNER even if it’s for the day-of.  Allow all planning to be done at least 14 days out and leave no major decision to be made within 14 days of the wedding.  Spend the last days leading up to the wedding having mani-pedi, spa treatments and dinner with your future hubby!
-Monica Sehgal Sharma, Allure Event and Meeting Productions (Chicago & Atlanta)

Hire a professional!  Once you are engaged, save yourself and hire a wedding planner first thing.  From there it’s important to work with real professionals so you can completely relax and trust in the team you have assembled.
-Heather Lynne Vickery, Greatest Expectations Special Events & Weddings, Inc. (Chicago, IL)

During the planning process, give yourself one task a week to complete.  Unless you have a really short engagement (which is not the norm), make a list (or, better yet, hire a wedding planner) and make one decision a week and then don’t second guess yourself.  On the day of your wedding, you have spent countless hours thinking, scheming and planning for this day, so just let go and enjoy.  Things will go awry but remember…you are marrying the person of your dreams.  Another way to think about it is you will be in labor longer than your reception, so how about you enjoy it!
-Claudia Antony Zompa, AS YOU WISH EVENTS (Chicago, IL)

It is important to keep a wedding checklist, go over it and take notes so that when that feeling of being overwhelmed or that feeling that something needs to be done or hasn’t been done, you can go back to that checklist.  It is also important that the groom be proactive during the planning process to relieve some of the stress off of the bride.  And lastly, the bride and groom should pamper themselves (a/k/a a “me” day) the day of or day before the wedding so on their wedding day both are relaxed and ready to say “I do.”
-Candace Polk, Glitz Event Design (Chicago, IL)

Easy!  Absolutely have someone to coordinate the hectic, busy wedding week and of course weekend alongside you.  This allows you to focus on your family, friends and shine as a newlywed instead of managing the schedule, vendors, answering hundreds of guest questions, and all that comes with an intricate, beautiful wedding.  It makes the world of difference – even if the coordinator needs to be an organized, project loving friend.
-Debi Lilly, A Perfect Event (Chicago, IL)

(1) Trust the vendors who are helping with your event, and (2) Remember:  You’re just as married, regardless of the party details!!
-Claire Abrams, “Day of” Coordinator (Chicago, IL)